How to guide strong-willed, inner-directed and determined children

Strong-willed children are generally determined, highly motivated, persistent. And they are not easily persuaded, once they make up their minds. They know what they want, have their own ideas and plans. They are also, confident, passionate, and are determined to succeed at whatever they do. These children want to recruit others into their plans and they love to be in control. They can even try to recruit the parent on their own agenda and control them. Hence, can easily manipulate the parent knowingly or unknowingly. Pretty much, these children are internally motivated, so the carrot and stick parenting approach, in and of itself, won’t work with them. Usually, these children want to get their way. how-to-deal-with-a-child-who-reacts-with-anger-when-frustrated. The parent ends up very frustrated, angry and all over the place. No wonder they can be the most difficult to parent.

Strong-willed children – the heart

The will is the place of determination and the level is determined by personality, character, values and one’s sense of morality. The heart makes a commitment and makes one want to act in a particular way. what-is-the-heart? When somebody receives Jesus( makes a commitment to follow Christ) Jesus comes into the heart and reorients the person’s character, morality, and values. The person is now born again, therefore in the spiritual things, they are babies. they need to be teaching and coaching in the things of the Lord. the same way babies are nurtured until they are fully grown or matured. This aspect of nurturing somebody happens in walks of life, work, school, and sports, the list goes on.

Salvation is the biggest asset for heart change so its important for the parent to lead their child to the Lord and if they are still little just by going to church, hearing the Word and praying with the parent helps to configure the heart. The parent needs to establish and maintain a good relationship with the child in order for the child to connect and take advice and correction without difficulty. Somebody said, ” In authority and under authority.” The parent needs to maintain their relationship with God, they are able to know when God is guiding and correcting them. And for the parent to get guidance in working through their heart issues also.

Strong-willed children and the will

The will makes choices based on the commitment. The parent needs to get to their heart. Since it’s deeper than the will. When the heart is in the right place, it guides the will in the right direction. The parent starts on the heart level to see lasting change. The strong-willed child needs a solid inner sense of direction to keep them on the right path. The parent has to identify the issues of the will and use a heart-based approach. The parent sets limits, keep them accountable but still focusing on the heart since the heart guides the will. Create a wall to block the child’s will but at the same time feed the heart with new information and experiences.

Strong-willed children and parental guidance

This child once their hearts decide on something because their will is strong, they want to go all the way in implementing it. The issue is the decision might be wrong or it might be right. Still, they need direction because the timing might not be right or whatever they want might not be the best for them. At times, the parent might not be in the position to make it happen. Because they are children, they might not consider all aspects of the situation. So, they are internally motivated but the parents need to work hard in order to direct them on the right path. That strong will can also create problems with their siblings. Thereby creating a rivalry. how-to-deal-with-sibling-rivalry

God redirecting Saul of Tarsus

Acts 9:1-9 and verse 20

1 Then Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest 2 and asked letters from him to the synagogues of Damascus, so that if he found any who were of the Way, whether men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem.

3 As he journeyed he came near Damascus, and suddenly a light shone around him from heaven.

4 Then he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?”

Then the Lord said, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. [a]It is hard for you to kick against the goads.”

5 And he said, “Who are You, Lord?”

6 So he, trembling and astonished, said, “Lord, what do You want me to do?”

Then the Lord said to him, “Arise and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”

7 And the men who journeyed with him stood speechless, hearing a voice but seeing no one. 8 Then Saul arose from the ground, and when his eyes were opened he saw no one. But they led him by the hand and brought him into Damascus.

Saul Preaches Christ
20 Immediately he preached [e]the Christ in the synagogues, that He is the Son of God.

Teaching your child

Even before your child receives salvation, you need to teach them. Teach the child where limits exist in a relationship. It’s important for the strong-willed child to know boundaries. Otherwise, they will just bulldoze their way into others. Some adults are not socially appropriate they try to bulldoze into everyone’s business. Because a strong-willed child has a way of forcing their will onto others. One can kinda notice its a character issue that has not been dealt with from childhood. That’s why this child needs to be taught basic social cues, that tells them they have exceeded appropriate relational boundaries.

The parent needs to exaggerate the cues without being mean. Either facial expression, hand gesture or verbal expressions. It’s advisable for the parent to exercise wisdom. Even with the right information, the parents have to know how and when to apply the knowledge. Parents need to be firm and compassionate, praying for the child and themselves so they stay the course, have compassion and wisdom.

Stay the course-a strong-willed child will sway you

Don’t let your strong-willed child sway you. Nor let them intimidate and control you. After redirection, Saul(Paul) changed his agenda and started to proclaim the gospel all over. I was just thinking of how Paul was most of the time under persecution, but still, he would continue preaching. At one time he was left for dead. one time he was shipwrecked. Still, he persisted. That’s someone with a determined will for the right reasons. Stay the course. Exercise patience, brace yourself up. As a parent, God has called you for a big job. Of course, there are times where the parent needs to compromise and get input from the child. Then incorporate it in the plan accordingly.