A very Insightful Post On Parenting by Dr. Scott Turansky

Why I say it’s an insightful post-It is out of the norm and gets to the heart of the issue. As I was reading it, I was having aha moments. Usually, parents want to target the weaknesses, which is coming out of the negative points. It can actually be more difficult than the other way round. Here is a portion of the post:

PARENT TO YOUR CHILD’S STRENGTHS IN ORDER TO ADDRESS WEAKNESSES: https://thrivingkidsconnection.com/parent-to-your-childs-strengths-in-order-to-address-weaknesses

One mom told about her son who had a genuine sensitivity to others’ needs. He was compassionate and cared for others and often felt things deeply. “I remember one time when he was younger, he began to cry when he saw an ambulance speeding down the road because he knew that someone was hurt inside. He’s very caring. Unfortunately, sometimes this sensitivity can cause him to become moody or overly emotional, pouting or crying over the least little problem.” The positive quality is sensitivity but it can have a negative side of being moody or being prone to emotional outbursts.

Another mom saw that her son had the ability to work hard at a task without being distracted. “He focuses intensely, with real determination to succeed.” This quality of being persistent can be a real asset, but sometimes it would show itself as stubbornness.

SOME EXAMPLES OF GOOD QUALITIES MISUSED

As you look at your children’s weaknesses, look for a positive character quality they may be misusing. Look for ways to balance it with other character qualities. Give praise for the positive quality and encourage practical ways to bring balance.

Here are a few more good qualities and ways that their misuse might be revealed:

Analytical – Picky, petty, critical

Confident – Prideful, bossy, insensitive, always has to lead, overconfident

Content – Unmotivated, apathetic, lazy

Courageous – Reckless, foolish, can’t see consequences of actions

Creative – Deceptive, manipulative, mischievous, always has a better way

Determined – Hard-headed, stubborn, obstinate, argues, badgers

Efficient – Inflexible, demanding, must have things a certain way

Enthusiastic – Intense, insensitive, fanatical, extreme, thrill-seeker

Expressive – Talkative, wordy, dominating conversation, poor listener

Neat – Perfectionist, inflexible, unwilling to share

Identifying positive qualities misused will not only encourage you as a parent but it helps you develop a strategy for training. One father told us this story, “I used to get so irritated by my son’s inflexibility. If I didn’t give him warning before some kind of change he’d get upset. But one day I was talking to another father who was frustrated that his son’s room was always messy. I mentioned that we don’t have that problem in our home. My friend was shocked and told me how blessed I am to have a son who is neat. It was then that I realized that my son’s neatness and his inability to be flexible come from the same character strength. He likes order and when things aren’t in order he has a hard time

ADMIRATION IS STRATEGIC

When you recognize a child’s strength in an area of character, take time to demonstrate admiration for it. Appreciation tends to focus on what a child does and is important in family life. Admiration focuses on who a child is and goes straight to the heart. When you spend time admiring a child’s strengths, you help form a child’s beliefs about self. Those beliefs are important because they form the way a child acts and develops.

You might say, “Son, you are an emotional person. I think God gave you an extra scoop of emotions when he designed you. I know you’re trying to work on your anger control now, but I just want you to know that I admire your emotional sensitivity. You’re the kind of person that livens up a party and you can see a problem developing before others because of the emotional cues. I like that. You do very well and God is going to use that in your life in some powerful ways, I’m sure.”

My thoughts on this insightful post

Whilst reading the insightful I began to think about how these strengths and weaknesses are so true for everyone. Parents too have strengths and weaknesses. Parents need to teach their children to acknowledge the strengths they see in their parents and their siblings. Because children usually have a tendency to complain about their parents’ or siblings’ weaknesses. And, at times its perceived weaknesses. Children might not appreciate their parent’s strength if they think it disadvantages them. For example, if their parents are big on respect and honor.

The kids may think their parents are not fun. And at times children admire their friends’ parents, undermining theirs. Parents have to teach their children thankfulness. Because thankfulness makes one content and brings joy. Siblings can also learn to tolerate one another and work together knowing everybody is in a learning phase. Parents remind every family member that everyone to be understood. Therefore, they need to make an effort to understand others. And not to criticize others heavily on their weaknesses. Especially if one’s weakness is their strength. Like if one is efficient and the other is not.

Hence meditating on and practicing living this Scripture would be of benefit:

Philippians 2:3-4

3) Don’t be selfish ambition or empty pride. But, be humble, thinking of others better than yourselves.

4) Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others too.

Parents can also learn from this insightful teaching

This is an opportunity for mom and dad, to appreciate each other’s strengths. Knowing that strength when taken to the extreme, can be a weakness. Also, children learn by observation too. Besides teaching and discipline. So as the parents practice praising and admiring one another’s strengths, or the good the other one does, children take notes mentally. Remember, this is about the heart. https://nurturenavigation.com/2019/10/25/heart/. And building character in your kids.

In conclusion about this insightful post

This was really insightful information. Dr. Scott Turansky has insightfully explained that we need each other. No one is better than the other. We complement each other. So, there is no need for competition. A family needs to work as a unit. For the betterment of each member. Hence the betterment of the family. Above all, God calls us as a family to love one another.

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