The break and time-out are different in that in timeout the child must ‘serve a sentence’ for a crime’ they’ve committed. And the parent’s role is to keep the child in the place of time-out until the time is up. In The Break responsibility for change is moved to the child The break focuses on heart change, not only behavior change. After the child does wrong you send them on a mission to change their heart(repentance).
The focus here is on the heart of the child, length of time is determined by the child. A break is not a consequence but part of a training process. Children learn to take a break for them to settle down and think things through. For example- what they did wrong and how they should have behaved. This is a good practice even for adults(parents). It’s not wise to continue working with a child when their temper is rising and the parent’s temper is rising. In the break, the child has the responsibility to make changes and come back to the parent. When the child comes back, the attitude of the parent is to show a desire for the child to return. Let me give an example here: Your daughter gets up over and over again. Let’s say her name is Shirley.
” Shirley, you’re 2 years old. And you’re becoming a big girl. Very soon you’ will be going to kindergarten. You need to learn discipline. Go take a break, and come back when you are ready to listen and settle down.”
Little Shirley goes and comes back. You ask her,
” Are you ready to listen?”
This is where Postive Conclusion comes in
Let’s say she says “Yes”. Ask her what she did wrong. Maybe she says, “I kept on standing up”. You then say,
” And what were you supposed to do?”.
Maybe says,” sit down” or” Sit down and let you know if I need something”. You then show her affirmation and love and tell her,
” Alright, let’s do this again. Shirley, settle down.” Before you start the process of The Break for the very first time, you explain it to her and how it works. This process works as long as the parent is committed to it.
What is A Positive Conclusion? Dr. Scotty Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN in Parenting is Heart Work Training Manual, say:
A positive Conclusion is a discussion you have with your child after the consequence to clarify the offense, make a plan for next time, and offer encouragement to do the right thing.
They continue by saying it offers hope to the child because at times a child is repetitively corrected then they become discouraged. It helps the child have thoughts of a positive future. They encourage parents to practice Positive Conclusion each time they discipline their child. Because children learn by repetition. At the end of each session show love, forgiveness and acceptance to the child.